Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
