Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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