so that wasnt chicken after all
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It's official drugs can't kill me
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
