2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
