Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
