I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
