oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
