Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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