there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
