CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
