The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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