Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
