hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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