ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize