I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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