I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
