i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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