if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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