In the future we'll all be gay
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
