you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize