I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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