I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
