i permit you to call me
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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