she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Boobs are out for the taking
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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