I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
