so that wasnt chicken after all
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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