And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
