come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
