no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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