I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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