i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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