im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
only you would photoshop your dick
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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