first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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