Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
