I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
