Having a random hookup so left but love u
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
