dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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