Already got asked if we're dating
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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