I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
