I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Operation Purity has been aborted
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
