All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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