i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
