just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
