i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
