if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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