Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
