So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
