Me too!
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
