okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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