My nipple is on Facebook.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
