So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize