I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
