On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
