I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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