so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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