Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
how drunk are you?
Several
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
