Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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